Pussification of America -- Part 1

Part 1:  "Are we not men?  We are…."

By:  A. Cohen

Listening to the local news this morning during my commute brought about an epiphany that nearly caused me to run my truck off the road.  Liberals are pussies.  Their goal is the complete "Pussification" of America.  It made me nervous.  Will I have to start wearing pastel colors, man-scara to enhance my eyelashes or Spanx to slim my physique?  Will I have to give up my Dodge RAM diesel truck for a Scion, BMW or electric car?  Arrrggg.  What the heck has happened to us?

Growing up was filled with affectionate messages from my parents like, "Get outside and DO something."  That meant getting on my dirt bike, bicycle or skateboard and heading out to find something to do.  If I hurt myself, my parents would look to see if the injury was life-threatening.  If it wasn't, it was met with "Don't worry about it.  It's not close to your heart."  Little League baseball meant someone actually pitched!  What the heck is "T-Ball?"  If your kid can't hit, shouldn't you teach them to play another sport?  Pitiful.

Part of the Pussification is to remove the gender-ness of society, like there are no differences between men and women other than what is supposed to be between our legs.  Of course, with Chaz, who knows and who cares?!  Feminism really blew it for women.  Flannel shirts and mustaches aren't "okay" for women in my book, regardless of what liberals say.  What's wrong with a woman expecting a man to open a door for her?  Now, there are only two times a man opens a car door for a woman: (1) The car is new; or (2) She is new.  If a man does, it is considered an insult.  "Oh, sure...like I can't open the damn door for myself."  Geez...I'm sorry ma'am..er, uh sir...whatever I am supposed to call you...very confusing.

Maybe it's because men are just too girly.  Sure, I see them try to run alongside Allen Parkway.  They more closely resemble Jerry Lewis in a comedy skit than they do an Olympic event.  It's supposed to be a work-out.  It's supposed to build strength and increase the health of your cardiovascular system, not attract attention.  Is one of these guys going to be able to change a tire without calling AAA?  I'm surprised that they are able to pick up a loaf of bread without getting warmed up first.

So...I make my way through the parking garage.  One of my favorite things to do is drive in first gear so that all of the pussified vehicles' alarms go off.  Sorry.  Little things amuse real men.  I grab my brief case/computer bag and head into the office building.  In front of me is a big guy, about 6'4" and 260 pounds, pulling what looks like an airline stewardess' bag.  It's this little bag with rollers and a long handle.  I looked at him, then looked at the bag, then back at him.  He must have seen the confusion in my eyes because he tossed he fat head back and scurried off pulling his manly bag behind him.  Really?  This guy is almost a big as me.  I know he is capable of using he shoulder strap or carrying it by the handle.  Have you no pride, man?!  

I guess all of this can be better explained by looking at our government.  We have been considered a super-power as a result of our strength and capabilities.  We used to never apologize for being more advanced, more capable and having more resolve than any other country in the world.  All this has changed with the current regime.  Our fearless "leader" and his Secretary, Billary, have trotted the globe bowing down before all  governments and apologizing for being who we are...winners.  All of the "statistics" show that the American upper educational system is substandard; yet, why do terroristic countries like Libya, Iran and Palestine send their students here?  We know it.  We know that we are educating the next generation of terrorist leaders.  But what does the pussified liberal doctrine claim?  If we educate them and be real nice to them, they will like us.  After all, shouldn't we all just get along?  You know.  Spread the wealth.  "World Order."

You have to be kidding me.  The people in our government were the ones who sat on the sidelines while others played sports.  No guts.  The people in our government were in the house vacuuming and washing dishes while we were outside working on the car, fixing a fence or doing yard work.  No character.  If they were confronted by someone who challenged them, they either cried and ran home to momma or pissed their pants and apologized for having an opinion.  Yes, this is our own President.  When Joplin was destroyed, where was our President?  You guessed it.  He was on a plane to Ireland to plant a tree, get in touch with his Irish roots and give American taxpayer money away instead of taking care of his own people.  Maybe we aren't "his own people" after all!  Instead of playing by the rules of the governmental system, O'bama has been whining that if everyone doesn't do what he wants, he will hold his breath and "get important things done via Executive Order circumventing Congress' authority."  He had all of the tools at his disposal.  It was a liberal dream come true with a Socialist President, liberal Senate and House.  He still failed.

Instead of admitting that we, as Americans, made a mistake by putting Hussain in the Oval Office, the liberals claim that he just hasn't had enough time.  Oh sure...that's like the Rangers claiming that they would have won if they had more innings!  "They didn't lose.  They just ran out of innings."

As the first segment to my Pussification saga comes to a close, I want to leave you with one final thought.  All Western European countries who have gone down this road before us are in terrible shape morally and fiscally.   Are we going to sit by and let this happen?