Banning French Fries is a Dic TATOR ship

Tater Attacked as "Evil Food"

Mr. Potato Head in Disguise

In this week's news, Michelle Obama's fat mouth is flapping again.  Does it ever stay closed?  So what now?  The TATER is under ATTACK!  French fries are being banned.  "The White House has had enough with the obese in America.  'Americans can no longer be trusted to eat the right food,' said Michelle Obama to the National Nutrition Association (NNA).  Soon after, President Obama issued an Executive Order banning French Fries in America.  'Any restaurant serving french fries will be heavily fined, as will any individuals eating french fries in public OR in their own home,' said Jay Carney, the White House Press Secretary.  Carney told WWN that obesity is a major health epidemic in the United States and that this is the first of “many executive orders” that President Obama will issue that will serve to control what Americans eat.  'We have to make America great again, and we can’t be a great country with so many overweight people,' said Carney.  Fines for serving French Fries in a restaurant start at $5,000 per plate and for consumers – if you are caught eating one serving of French Fries that will cost you $200.  How will the Administration police all restaurants and homes.  'First off, we will be shutting down all French Fry production lines in America, so we will cut of the source of this evil food.  Secondly, we will encourage all Americans to report on their neighbors and friends.  If you see something, say something,' said First Lady Michelle Obama.  Even if it hurts business, restaurants should exchange their top dishes for healthier items with less fat, salt and sugar and they should begin serving smaller portions, Obama said. As an example the First Lady offered this; instead of French fries, restaurants should serve apple slices or carrots with hamburgers and they can use less butter and cream even if it compromises taste."   Hmm.  I wonder how much this whole NNA, WWN, MyPlate ordeal has cost American Taxpayers.  
Note to self:  "Americans can no longer be trusted..."
Another note to self:  "We have to make America great again..."

That Ain't No Lady

It pains me to refer to Michelle Obama as America's "First Lady."  I don't find anything first or lady about her.  While filling this position, her so called contributions have been nothing more that power plays.  Michelle's roll in changing America's food pyramid to the food plate (official June 2011) is really on my top 3 dumbest things this year.  Number one was the experiment of shrimp on a treadmill.  "Yes, the shrimp treadmill research cost taxpayers more than $3 million over the course of a decade. That includes a a $559,681 grant for research into "Impaired Metabolism and Performance in Crustaceans Exposed to Bacteria."  As you might imagine, senior citizens were outraged.  Before you blame Congress, it was the National Science Foundation (a government agency) that decided to fund the shrimp study.  Apparently, they have nothing else to do.  If you find yourself in their position, please drop them an informative line that they have shrimp for brains.

Meals on Tread Wheels.

Does Fried Chicken count as "protein"?

I'm not sure if shrimp is on the old food pyramid or on the new food plate but Michelle has your diet all planned out for you.  Before you know it, your meals will be coming via mail--well, not the U.S. Postal Service as they aren't doing so well.  Maybe Bus Force One can be used as Meals on Nazi Wheels since it will never see another 3 day tour.  
So why do we have a food plate?  It was a brainstorm between Michelle, Surgeon General, Regina Benjamin and Secretary of Agriculture, Tom Vilsack.  If Vilsack's name sounds familiar, that's because it is.  If he had been doing his job at the USDA, we would not have all of the MEAT RECALLS (ground turkey and ground beef in the recent months).   
"It's called MyPlate, and it has four colored sections representing fruits, vegetables, grains and proteins. Next to the plate is a smaller circle representing dairy products.  'MyPlate is a truly simple, powerful visual cue to help people adopt healthy eating habits at meal times,' said Vilsack.  On MyPlate's website, the USDA emphasizes several important nutrition messages: eat smaller portions, make at least half the plate fruits and vegetables and avoid sugary drinks.  Nutrition experts believe a plate is a good choice."  Would someone tell me WHO these so called "food experts" are?  Names please.  And can I put fried chicken in the protein slot, fried okra as the vegetable, fried plaintains as the fruit, Cajun rice as grain and ice cream in the dairy cup?  I thought so.  Last time I checked, it is STILL MY BODY.

Home of the Free
America has ALWAYS been a country where we eat what is available.  The Native Americans did not have a food pyramid, chart or plate.  They had hunting and gathering skills.  Resources changed with the seasons.  In today's world, many American families have what is called a BUDGET which dictates what is on the "plate."  Others have dietary/physical issues that place restrictions or demands on an individual.  French fries are not BAD for everyone.  Our brains require fat as do our nervous and cardiovascular systems.  In  studies on children suffering from seizures, high fat diets have been encouraged and have shown healing effects.  In studies at John Hopkins, foods high in fat and low in carbohydrates, "...works by triggering biochemical changes that eliminate seizure-causing short circuits in the brain’s signaling system. It has been used successfully in several forms of epilepsy."  French fries are not low in carbs, but it may be the only fat food source available.  This is NOT a decision for Michelle Obama.  She is NOT a doctor.  She's not even an attorney anymore.  I'm not smelling fruits and vegetables, I am smelling CRAP.

By George, I think I've got it! 
Olive Garden and Red Lobster have also been under scrutiny and are apparently "bowing" to Queen Michelle.  "Encouraged by Michelle Obama's campaign to reduce childhood obesity, the company that owns the Olive Garden, Red Lobster and four other popular restaurant chains is pledging to cut the calories and sodium in its meals and overhaul its kids' fare."  Olive Garden might as well be renamed, "The Garden."  As for Red Lobster--perhaps just, "Reds."  My thoughts on any restaurant that "BOWS" to this administration while America is in the midst of an economic crisis, should be BOYCOTTED.  "For children, French fries and sugar-sweetened beverages will become the exception and not the rule."  I did not know that being the president's wife gave her authority to tell parents how to feed their children. 


First Ladies of the Past are Still FIRST
First Ladies, Barbara Bush and Laura Bush, are known for advocating for education and literacy (and much needed by an illiterate Barack).  In the current administration, I guess not being able to read--especially a menu is probably a good thing.  And being smart just might mean you don't vote Obama.  First Lady, Nancy Reagan, "...became involved with Foster Grandparents, a program started by Kennedy brother-in-law and Peace Corps founding director Sargent Shriver.  Her efforts helped bring Foster Grandparents branches to all California state hospitals, and the organization went on to take root in other states as well. She also worked with veterans organizations and prisoners of war (POW's), a sensitive topic during the Vietnam era. She organized four state dinners for returning California POW's, calling them "the high point of Ronnie's administration."  First Lady, Rosalynn Carter, was known for countless jobs of importance including her work as the Active Honorary Chair of the President's Commission on Mental Health.  Even First Lady, Betty Ford, made a great contribution by addressing substance abuse and breast cancer awareness. 

Last Word
The LAST thing this administration is going to do is tell me how to eat.  Yes, there are obese children and adults in this nation.  It is not solely due to French fries, McDonald's, fast food or eating out.  In defense of French fries, they are a WHOLE FOOD and there's something to be said for that.  Gotta go.  Order's up!

Disclaimer:  Opinions expressed here are solely those of the author unless otherwise stated.  You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig.